The most important skill you need to cultivate right now
Be. Not. Afraid.
I cannot express to you how important this is.
I have a long history with risk and crisis management, in particular integrating enchantment into a cyclical framework for dealing with bad things that might happen in life. It’s an obsession of mine, and also really personally useful (I’m prone by nature to anxiety).
That means that I’ve spent a lot of time in both corporate risk management and prepper spaces… and I hate it. The engine of online preparedness and risk management seems to be driven entirely on fear. All the messaging sounds like:
ALARM ALARM SCREEE SCREEE - BAD THING - BE SO AFRAID!!!
Now buy my course / book / kit / consulting … before it’s too late
Or even worse, there is no solution presented, but just the opportunity to follow and subscribe so you can get terrified on the regular (I love that this is presented as the more ethical approach - “I’m not trying to sell you anything; I just want to milk your terror for likes and shares!”). Nice of you. Thanks.
I see this stuff and I’m like, dude (it usually is a dude by the way) calm the fuck down a second. Take a breath. Go outside. Touch some grass.
Look, I get it. The world is feeling like a scary place right now and there’s lots of bad stuff going on. Sometimes it seems like the only two options are:
Ignore entirely (head in the sand, eyes down, distract yourself with funny cat videos until you glaze right over)
Spiral! (eyes wide in horror, doom scrolling fear porn, reading the comments, fomenting a panic attack before you collapse)
But while ignoring risk in your life is also very clearly a risk, anxiety and fear are actually contraindicated for risk management. Let me just say that again - being terrified of something bad happening makes you worse at:
Figuring out what that thing might be FOR YOU
Understanding whether this is a big deal FOR YOU
Coming up with a useful plan that works FOR YOU
Implementing said plan IN YOUR LIFE
People who lean into fear in this way are commiting risk management malpractice (yes, I said it).
It’s a vicious cycle: you feel more afraid, which means your decision making skills are degraded, which mean you don’t manage the risks appropriately, which makes you more afraid. There’s probably a “so you buy more stuff from Mr. Panic-pants” step in there too.
Considering bad things that might happen can feel… unfun, to say the least. But there is a way to approach it where you stay calm and clear eyed - coherent. And if you do that, then you will be able to better manage your risk, which makes you feel less fearful and stressed. This is a learnable skill that involves both mindset and magic (which are actually the same thing).
And that’s a virtuous cycle: you feel calm, which means you make better decisions, which means you manage risk well, which makes you more calm.
I really want to turn this entire narrative on its head. Not, “be scared because RISK” but “be calm and deal with risk.”
How?
Curate your information intake to avoid the fear porn
This is challenging because in order to understand your risk, you need data. However you must avoid people and authors that are more invested in terrifying you than informing or educating you. In addition, avoid dwelling on the risks that you can’t do anything about or that don’t impact you directly (that doesn’t mean you don’t care about them on behalf of other people, you just shouldn’t swim in them). Focus on your own risk exposure and regulate your nervous system while doing it.
Keep your nervous system coherent and calm
Meditation, breathing, yoga, nature, mantras (I love the Litany Against Fear and use it frequently) plus the usual boring drink water / eat veg / get sleep. Whatever you need to do to activate and strengthen your parasympathetic nervous system while protecting your amygdala… do that.
Lean into Joy, Gratitude, and Optimism
Optimism is a spell (Gordon), Joy is subversive (Ivy), and Gratitude… well, gratitude might just be the seed of faith. Absolutely required practices (and they are practices… meaning you can get better at them) for getting through crazy and difficult times. Not optional. Not nice-to-haves.
These are the practices for reducing fear. There are other practices for being afraid AND DOING IT ANYWAY. That’s the other side of the “bad at risk coin” - the fear that makes you ignore risk entirely. But that’s a post for another day.
PS
I’m launching a small cohort (an Arc) to deep dive into this work because I think it’s sorely needed. Connect with me if you think it might be right for you.